Using the titles boyfriend and girlfriend...


When a couple is dating, they usually call each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". When a couple is courting, are there any other names to go by, so that people know that you're courting and not dating?




Dear Rita,

I’ve been asked this question before and I really have never come up with an adequate answer. I did suggest to one couple that if they want to avoid the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” to say something like this. “This is Neil, and we’re courting.” They seemed to like that idea!

To be honest, though, I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”. But I understand why couples who are courting would look for something more than that. As soon as people hear those titles, “boyfriend and girlfriend” they automatically think “dating” and there seems to be something a little “cheap” in that – probably because of the way society presents dating to us.

It somehow seems to cheapen the experience of a courting relationship – where a couple is really trying to remain pure and discern God’s will for their relationship – when the same terms are used for the couple who is “shacked up” down the street!

Nevertheless, it is not the title that matters as much as the example of your life and your relationship to others. So, I encourage you – when you are at that stage in life – to be bold in giving that witness of faith and testimony to real love and virtuous, dynamic, God-glorifying romance to all those who see you.

May God bless you with that holy experience of romance in your life – when the time comes!

We pray daily for our readers. I ask that you would remember in your prayers: me, my family and this ministry of promoting purity in our world!

In His Most Holy Name,