Spin the bottle...


Is it wrong to play "spin the bottle" with your friends? Isn't it just harmless fun?



Dear Matt,

Thanks for your question regarding "spin the bottle". I suppose the answer for this question will have to include a clarification of "spin the bottle".

When talking about "spin the bottle" at a birthday party for a five-year-old child to see which gift gets opened first, it truly is "just harmless fun!" However, the nature of the innocence of the game really depends on the nature of the purpose of the game. When teen-agers are playing "spin the bottle" to determine who pairs off with whom to go "make out" with each other at a party, then the "harmless fun" clause does not apply!

I'm not sure at what level you are speaking about "spin the bottle", but I assume it involves some physical intimacy -- otherwise you would not really have to ask about it -- true?

So let's discuss physical intimacy in terms of "jewels and gold" that you have stored up in a "treasure chest" to enjoy one day with your future spouse. Each time you dip into that chest full of jewels you are "stealing" away from your wife's and your future treasure in marriage! Wouldn't it be sad on your wedding day to open your chest and find it depleted, maybe even empty!

Every act of physical intimacy that you express is — in some form or other — giving away a part of who you are to someone else. Wouldn't it be beautiful if you were to save it ALL up for your future wife?

If you have given away some of that treasure on short term relationships, I suggest that you hold on to what you have left. It's not impossible to rebuild some of that treasure, you know. As you practice self-discipline each day, in regard to your relationship with girls, you'll find that the sacrifices you make to withhold your affection will become new jewels you can store up in your treasure chest!

And while you can never go back to complete innocence, you can reclaim your purity bit by bit through the virtue of self-mastery! Begin today: make a commitment to live out purity in all your relationships with girls so that you are honouring them as the sisters-in-Christ that they truly are. Remember each girl you spend time with is someone's future wife -- and that someone may not be you! So treat her chastely, the way you would want the boys who are spending time with your future wife right now to be treating her!

Pray for yourself to remain pure and for your future wife to be pure as well! Even if you don't know who she is, God does!

Don't allow yourself to get caught up in "harmless fun" that in reality is actually robbing you of something priceless -- your treasure of physical affection! Make up your mind to save that treasure and to build it up even more each day by your decision to embrace a life of purity!

Blessings to you,
In His Most Holy Name,