Real Beauty...


Dear Carmen, I enjoyed your book except for one thing. It depresses me that even in a Christian romance, the girl (Joanie) is slim and very pretty, two things that I'm definitely not. How can people like me ever hope to find someone to court, much less marry?




Dear Erica,

This question really touched my heart. I have been praying for you in a special way each day since I received it from you. I’m sorry it has taken me this long to respond, but we have been very busy with family over the summer.

First, I want to start by saying that I understand your pain. I can remember not feeling very pretty either when I was young. I think in today’s world it is very easy for people – especially girls – to get down on themselves for their appearance. There is so much emphasis on it all around us through the media and advertising. I apologize if my novel contributed in anyway to you somehow feeling worth “less” than others.

As I matured I came to understand beauty in a different way. True beauty is that which illuminates us from within – the love of God. I really, truly believe that there are no “ugly” persons out there. If you want to see beauty, it is there to be found in each person. Perhaps that is why my characters came off as so “beautiful” – because I’m so committed to seeing the beauty of each individual (even myself – which is sometimes the hardest)!

I pray that you will be able to see yourself with the eyes of God. He sees you perfectly – right through to your soul. If you can trust Him with your love and allow Him to love you the way He wants to, you will be able to cast aside your self-consciousness. When this happens, you’ll begin to see the beauty that He has created within you. And people around you will be drawn to that beauty, because it is real!!

Secondly, I want to challenge you to trust that God has a perfect plan for your life! Don’t be concerned about whether or not you are attractive enough to find someone to court, much less marry. God has a perfect plan for your life which includes your perfect happiness. Be open to His will. Trust Him. Pray each day to discern His will for your life.

When your heart has shifted from worrying to trusting, you will be less anxious over your appearance. Your relationships with others will improve. And, once again, as you radiate confidence, people will be drawn to you. They’ll want what you have – which is something awesome – the love of Jesus Christ in your heart.

That love heals and it comforts and it transforms our sorrows to joy! It is this joy that will be so contagious that others around you will find you irresistible. Then, that perfect someone who Jesus has chosen for you will be able to see you and love you for the person you are.

It is only through Jesus’ love that we can be all that we were created to be. Tall, short, slim or chubby . . . God made us all beautiful, unrepeatable creations – made in His image and likeness . . . made for love!

I sincerely hope that this response helps you, Erica, to be able to trust God with all your heart that He might lead you to know His peace. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Please pray for me, my family and this ministry of promoting courtship in your prayers.

In His Most Holy Name,